Shorter new column

YOU ARE VISITING THE OLD MALKIN(S)WATCH. THAT'S FANTASTIC. PLEASE VISIT THE NEW MALKIN(S)WATCH WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE.

It's better to say wildly offensive things using G-rated speech than profound things using X-rated speech.

You see you wouldn't ask why the rose that grew from the
concrete had damaged petals
On the contrary
We would all celebrate its tenacity
We would all love its will to reach the sun

(If you're confused about the Tupac nonsequiter, start here.)

Dang: Non sequitur! I meant non sequitur.