She noticed me! She noticed me!

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Finally, to all the playa haters who can't resist checking in here and then scuttling back to their caves to stick their rhetorical pins into my virtual voo-doo doll, you are very welcome for the off-label therapeutic relief this blog may provide.

Okay, I sincerely doubt MalkinWatch is really who she has in mind here. We're not exactly bileworthy yet...but to quote Michelle again:

2005 will be even hotter.

XXOO

Strike that last part.

For your last minute laser shopping needs

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Counterpundit points out something that hadn't occurred to me, but probably should've:

Michelle Malkin is telling terrorists where they can buy lasers to help bring down planes. Thanks, Michelle!

Nothing much on...

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With much of Malkin's blog today dedicated to tsunami-related issues (although she does announce that she'll be appearing on Neil Cavuto to discuss laser beams) let's look at just a few of 2004's greatest hits.

From Malkin's column "Media Diversity Test" (and apparently irony-free):

Test-takers get five points for every statement they mark "YES."

1. I have never voted for a Democrat in my life.

Nothing screams "diversity" like always voting a straight-party ticket. Here's a quote from Five Reasons to fear the Democratic Party:

The American Civil Liberties Union. The organization maintains dangerously absolutist positions against the use of torture...

Leaving aside that the ACLU and the Democratic Party are two different things, this gives us a pretty good idea of where Malkin stands (hint: against the Constitution).

And lest we forget, Malkin once (probably unwittingly) admitted that her support for internment is racist:

The apology and reparations for ethnic Japanese (including those born in the camps, those who resisted the draft, those who renounced their U.S. citizenship and those who had gathered intelligence for Japan) perpetuated anger and frustration among European internees and their families, none of whom received an apology or compensation. Even worse, the law created a historical blind spot about the World War II internment episode in the courts and classrooms that persists today.
"Hopefully, history will overcome our nation's current obsession with the alleged victimization of racial minorities to the extent that the wartime suffering of non-minority citizens such as Arthur D. Jacobs and the thousands of others like him will finally be recognized," wrote World War II veteran and retired U.S. Naval commander William Hopwood in the afterword to Jacobs' autobiography. "Fairness and common decency call for it, and our nation owes them no less."

Malkin dismisses peoples' concerns over Japanese internment by airing Jacobs' complaints. The same woman who wrote an entire book called In Defense of Internment effectively condemns the internment of Europeans in the same circumstances. Whoops.

Vote Michelle!

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Via Crushed by Inertia, go vote for Ms. Malkin in the (so far low-turnout) Wingnut of the Year awards!

Does this make MalkinWatch a humorless liberal?

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Signing off a post about apparent "laser attacks" from the ground on cockpits of commercial airliners, apparently attempting to blind the pilots, Michelle either needs to choose her words more carefully or tells the worst pun in history:

We'll keep an eye on this story.

[S]he that would pun, would pick a pocket. - Alexander Pope

Susan Sontag: Public Enemy No.1

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Malkin quotes the Washington Times as saying Sontag "blamed America for the September 11 terror attacks", linking an article from Deutsche Welle in which Sontag does no such thing:

Sontag, who has spent much of her literary life going back and forth between Europe and the United States, questioned why Europe and America had drifted so far apart. Criticizing Bush’s "imperial program," she lambasted Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld’s division of Europe into old and new.

The author, who was in Germany at the time of 9/11, described the outpouring of sympathy the Europeans felt for the United Sates, but said much of it had been squandered since then. "What has followed is an increasing estrangement on both sides."

"How odd, that when Europe and America are so culturally similar, there is such a divide," she added.

There's more, but not a single word of blame. Sontag has no time for Bush, but she doesn't blame America for 9/11 - at least not like, say, Jerry Falwell:

"I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People for the American Way -- all of them who have tried to secularize American -- I point the finger in their face and say, 'You helped this happen.'"

For that matter, Michelle, you blame America too.

Yes, we know, you like globalization. We get it already.

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I'm not completely sure what to make of all this. Malkin collects some writings from Glenn Reynolds, thw WSJ, and others. Instamatic writes:

Where survival is concerned, rich is better. That's something to keep in mind when people describe economic growth as "anti-human."

Do rich people not vacation at the seashore? This rightwing tendency to reduce this whole tragedy to "The More You Know"-style public service announcements is quite grating, not to mention illogical.

Now, no one could possibly deny the elements of truth in what Reynolds, the WSJ, and Aaron Wildavsky (Malkin's former mentor, apparently) have to say. But to suggest that because economic growth helps keep rich people safe, it's intrinsically good no matter what form it takes is ludicrous. How about when "economic growth" leads to predatory lending practices which cripple third world nations? What does that do to their survivability? That's why some (not MalkinWatch, necessarily) call it "anti-human", you idiot. Because it makes rich people safer while having exactly the opposite effect on the disadvantaged.

Global economic growth is not intrinsically bad. None but the most inane anarchist liberals have ever said it is, really. But that does not mean growth is intrinsically good at any cost.

Proving a negative

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This post and its gloating nature would actually be quite obnoxious if - if - Malkin didn't diligently catalog and crusade against every instance of real gay-bashing occurring across this great nation of ours.

Oh, wait...

Timely media criticism

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Ms. Malkin adds to the mounting evidence against the "the American propaganda organ otherwise known as the New York Times." She quotes from Accuracy in Media

The New York Times has not fully apologized, even though it sponsored some of the worst lies about Ukraine ever published.

What's this? A new Jayson Blair-type scandal? Judith Miller up to her old tricks again?

In a word, no.

The reporting was done by the Stalinist apologist Walter Duranty, The New York Times' Moscow correspondent during the 1920s and 1930s. Duranty denied millions of Ukrainians were being killed by the Moscow-instigated Great Famine during the years 1932-33...

Wow. I'm sure the Times editors are resigning en masse rolling over in their graves.

Roomba: Our very own Epsilon Minus

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Hooray! Roomba does the floor-cleaning no one else wants to do. And it won't sue you for back-pay when it breaks...

Hear that, domestic employees? If only you could do your job like a robot, without emotion, personality, or need to feed and clothe yourself regardless of physical fitness, than maybe the upper classes could get on with the business of eviscerating social security...the very program which allows you to work without fear of economic disaster due to injury on the job.

Last-minute Ramachrismakwansaakah shopping?

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Via the Liberal Avenger, the Clare Booth Luce Institute has your answer.

Make a $25 or more secure online donation to the Luce Policy Institute and you'll receive our 2005 Great American Conservative Women Calendar featuring Ann Coulter, Dr. Laura, Michelle Malkin, Condoleezza Rice, Shemane Nugent and many more prominent conservative women.

I don't know about you, but I prefer my sexy calendars to be of all one woman. I'll stick to twelve months of Clare Booth Luce, if you don't mind.

Update: Whoops. Make that Ramahanukwanzmas.

Good excuse for review

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The folks at Media Matters, whom MalkinWatch reveres as gods, are taking a Christmas break, and are rerunning some of their favorite items of the year. Our Michelle doesn't appear, but this does offer an opportunity to show some of the year's greatest Malkin hits.

Courtesy, in this case, of said Media Matters:

Malkin distorted an October 12, 2003 column...in The New York Times by...Adam Cohen. Malkin claimed that, in his "derisive" editorial, Cohen referred to as "freakish" then-candidate for Louisiana governor Piyush 'Bobby' Jindal, an Indian-American Republican. But, in fact, far from referring to Jindal himself as freakish, Cohen described the former Rhodes Scholar's "almost freakishly impressive resume."

"Never one to let facts get in the way of a good story" is a phrase invented with Malkin in mind. And even when she corrects herself, she doesn't (emphasis mine):

Malkin made a similar accusation against Cohen in an October 15, 2003, column, though in that instance she used a more complete quote in claiming that "Cohen sneered at Jindal's 'almost freakishly impressive resume.'"

Topsy turvy world

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Endorsing recounts, lambasting homeland security...careful, Michelle, you're starting to sound like a Democrat.

Not the most auspicious start to this blog

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I just had a long post about the O'Reilly appearance obliterated by a browser crash - on Linux, no less. I can't write it again, I really can't. I'm sorry, but here are the highlights:

• Malkin accuses Dr. Juan Hernandez of everything short of high treason


• She defends Arizona's Prop 200, a deeply flawed bill.


• She makes the dubious and misleading claim that amnesty programs increase illegal immigration, a statement with which federal studies tend to disagree. It's a debatable point, at least the most debatable she made tonight, but it seems to MalkinWatch that if illegal immigration will tend to stay the same either way, why not get them on the tax rolls?

This was all much more cohesive and pithy the last time around, but you take what you can get.

Update: Okay, I stand corrected. Apparently there's a newer study by the INS which finds that amnesty does correspond to increased illegal immigration.

Malkin meets the Christmas Warrior

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Unfortunately, I'm on the West Coast, so I won't be in time to catch the O'Reilly Factor tonight, and darn it all, I forgot to set my Tivo for that excellent program. I will try to catch a rerun, but if anyone (who's stumbled across this blog already) saw it, any comments are welcomed.

News Flash

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Michael Moore is fat.

Opportunism

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Michelle manages to link the Stinnett tragedy to "pro-abortion ideology" (via Rich Lowry) and engage in a little feminist-baiting.

Hey Michelle, maybe the reason the "silence of the feministas is deafening" is a reluctance to put political spin on such a horrible tragedy.

Welcome to MalkinWatch

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Reason Online reviews In Defense of Internment:

...this book is not a trustworthy work of history but a polemic—the O’Reilly Factor masquerading as the History Channel.

Then again, Thomas Sowell has a different opinion:

Michelle Malkin's courageous and carefully reasoned and documented book In Defense of Internment was a long-overdue re-examination of the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II.

Let's see...Eric Muller tells me that it's "a polemic", while Thomas "Blacks have lower IQs" Sowell tells me it's "carefully reasoned." The battle continues...